My Dear Ole’ Gran used to say I was a worry wort. She had a million analogies about my worrying ways: fishing in air, spending a dollar on a ten cent problem, borrowing trouble….she knew that I lost a lot of sleep worrying and overthinking. Still do. She and my mom used to tell me I was a natural born worrier.
As a young adult, the worry manifested itself as crippling anxiety. There were times when I wouldn’t leave my house, or even my bedroom, because I was so worried about some small thing. And then one day, I learned to control my worries by keeping my mind busy on reading, house cleaning, my job…I realized that my worry and anxiety was fueled by the things in life that I could not control, so I took charge of the things I could control. Hello Type A personality. Hello lists…
That doesn’t mean I don’t still borrow trouble, or spend a dollar on a ten cent issue…and I have plenty of sleepless nights overthinking trivial issues. But lately, my overthinking isn’t something trivial.
Last night I spent some time reflecting on the news reports about our President wanting the economy to open for business on April 12th…I spent time reading articles on the timelines of countries that are further down this path than we are, (Who better to ask about the road ahead than someone on the return journey?) our current situation with infection rates vs. response nationwide, basic economics, and basic infection control. I then began the process of putting these pieces together, weighing pros and cons, considering outcomes, and thinking about my personal existence as a small part of the bigger picture.
This might be an example of overthinking but this is not trivial, this is not a moment in time that can’t be undone. This is a bigger big picture issue, with multiple points to consider, and life or death outcomes. The United States should not even consider reopening the economy until infection rates and deaths are declining, and the health care professionals have given the green light indicating they are prepared to face the inevitable resurgence of infection that will come with decreasing restrictions on public gathering and reopening businesses and industry.
Taking another track, but stick with me here…Leadership is both a noun and a verb…kind of like parent. Leadership is dependent on followers, if nobody is following you, are you leading? This is the essence of the political divide right now: some people are following, and some people refuse to follow (‘Not my president’). And this is another rubber hitting the road situation. Some of the President’s followers , namely the 1%- are watching their bottom line amid this COVID-19 crisis. They are watching the markets falter, and recession, if not depression looms as the workforce is nearly incapacitated as we try to save ourselves and our communities from this outbreak. They are putting the pressure on to reopen the economy- they are after all, powerful lobbyists and major donors to the re-election.
Then you have the average American- some are followers, and some are not. We are feeling the impacts of the shuttering of our businesses. We are watching and waiting and wondering how we are going to make our mortgage payments, and hoping we have enough in savings to tide us over. And then you have the other half of the population, who are living paycheck to paycheck and wondering if there will be any food left when payday finally comes. You have those that are hoping and praying that as essential employees at the gas station or supermarket that they don’t get sick.
Have you stopped to consider that the majority of essential employees are not included in the 1%? That the majority of essential employees have student loans to pay for their medical (or other) degrees that allow them to be on the front lines? They are the first responders who live modest middle class lives, and they are the minimum wage workers who are living paycheck to paycheck, also on the front lines- interacting with the public daily.
And here is my sticking point on this: Our leaders have an obligation to lead ALL of us into the future as safely and humanely as possible. The obligation is there to insure every american citizen has the opportunity to survive this pandemic with dignity, and be safe and healthy on the other side. Our leadership needs to consider not just what is best for the 1% but the nation as a whole.
Yes, I am grateful that a stimulus package was passed. Yes, I hope this helps the economy recover. I have watched my retirement evaporate in the last three weeks, and that hurts. Yes, I want to go to my local tattoo parlor for my ink therapy, and go to the Grand River and get some use out of my mug, and I want to contribute to the small businesses that make America great, but I don’t want to do these things at the cost of the health and well being of my community. Small Businesses are suffering, but moving towards reopening too soon puts the country at risk.
And for today, I will try to feel some sense or normalcy and control over my life:
