Maya Angelou said it best: Let me remind all women that we live longer and better lives when we have sisters we love, not necessarily born in our bloodline or of our race. It’s a fact…Sorry gentlemen….but ladies need their lady friends. As much as we love our husbands and spouses, we also need the companionship of female friends.
There are some things a man just doesn’t get. Night sweats…. need I say more? But men are problem solvers and women are problem venters. We don’t always need to have someone fix the issue, but we do need people to commiserate with the issue, we need to have someone hear the issue and validate the issue. Sometimes, if there is wine involved, we might brainstorm ingenious ways to approach the issue and provide some humor at someone elses’ expense. And for some reason, men just can’t do this. They want to give you a solution and move on.
One of the hardest things I ever did was leave my lady friends when I moved across the country. The ladybugs and I are an unusual bunch of sister friends, varying in age and background, but these ladies have commiserated with me through divorce, marriage, birth, death, job changes, crisis, celebration, and everything in between. When I first left, my heart ached at times because in a new town, with new people, I was on my own with no ladybug crew to commiserate with. If ever there was a time when I needed commiseration…it was that first year. We facetimed, and emailed, and texted, and I went for a visit that first year…but they weren’t a monthly ladies night away. They were such an important support system for me that I got the Maya Angelou quote tattooed on my ribs. In many ways they were my backbone, lending me strength when I needed it, faith when I had none, laughter when I wanted to cry, and at the end of a night of food, and stories, and laughter….peace and serenity.
Over the last few years I have been fortunate and blessed to develop a new network of lady friends. They don’t know me to my roots and core like the Ladybugs do, but we are getting there, and I am grateful. I am grateful for the car rides to away games with real talk about real things- commiseration. I am grateful for the weekend get togethers, the road trip adventures, and the friendship. I am grateful for the laughs, because its fine…and it will be fine. I am grateful for the unspoken communication when I am being catty. But I am also sad still because I don’t get back to Arizona to see my Ladybugs, and I feel like as I have moved on in life, I have missed part of theirs. Its been a while since my last visit, the emails and texts are less frequent, but I know that when I next visit, we will sit at the table, barefoot on saltillo tile, eating good food and pastry, and laughing and talking long into the night….just like old times.
