Let me remind all women…

Maya Angelou’s wise words ‘Let me remind all women that we live longer and better lives when we have sisters we love, not necessarily born in our bloodline or of our race’ was a life lesson before I even knew who Maya Angelou was. I grew up surrounded by my mom’s sisterhood; a group of ladies that started out as neighbors, colleagues, and classmates that ended up being lifelong friends, companions, and sisters. Not just any kind of friends, but the kind of friends that help each other pack when it is time to go, who show up the morning after a wild night for coffee and don’t care about morning breath, the kind who know all of the ugly details of your life, and love you more for it. My mom was blessed to have a group of these kinds of ladies.

I was blessed to benefit from these relationships in so many ways. They were my mother’s ‘co madres’. They were a group of women who were always present in some way. Raghida babysat me, and took me trick or treating once when my mom had to work. Cris was the queen of adventure and I have many fond memories of her with her aviators on and her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze. Karen was always the fancy lady with her shoes and her bracelets and her burgundy tinted hair before that was a ‘thing’. Catherine was the other mother. Where my mom was the sensible shoes mom, Catherine was the ‘buy the pretty shoes mom’.

This was a group of ladies that I knew I could always count on. They called me on my shit when necessary, brought me boxes of baby clothes when my first son was born, and were always a subtle presence in the background of my young adult life. In these last days with my mom, I am so glad to have their love and support. But more than anything else right now, I am so grateful for the lesson of sisterhood. From a very young age they taught me the value of having good woman friends that could be counted on no matter what. They taught me the lessons of unconditional…through the complexities of their relationship which despite having their ups and downs remains strong over decades.

From the lessons I learned watching these ladies I developed a strong value for sisterhood relationships. Through their example I sought and developed relationships with ladies that have been my friends through divorce, marriage, childbirth, child rearing, legal battles, sickness, recovery, job changes….and all the little moments in between. When I moved across the country, I missed their presence, but their love and support still surrounded me. As with life’s ups and downs, we can go months with out much communication, and then pick up like we just talked yesterday.

After I moved, I was so fortunate to develop a new sisterhood in my new town as well. I have found likeminded ladies that I can count on, that have been checking in on me, and that provide me the sense of sisterhood that make my life richer and better for having known them. My work out sister friends my wrestling and football sister friends, my book club sister friends, my Glamping sister friend, my tattoo artist sister friend, and my cousin/twin sister friend. It is a special thing to have these relationships, but is is even more special to have it twice.

As we go through this time of my mother’s last days, we have had a lot of laughs, a lot of cries, a lot of conversations and reminisced over a lot of memories. My mom is so fortunate to have this group of sister friends, plus her actual sister here with her, but as when I was small I am also feeling fortunate for their companionship, for their wisdom, and their support. We have been insulated in this limbo world of waiting for my mom to cross over, and the time has been the best this time could possibly be under this set of circumstances largely in part to the selfless and loving acts these ladies do each day for my mom, and for me.

There are no words to express the level of gratitude I have for these ladies helping my mom transition to the afterlife and helping me get through this time. My mom lived a better life with these ladies, even if she didn’t get the longer life part.