What does the principalship and instragam have in common? Just let that sit for a minute.
The idea of the principal being wrong really rubs some people the wrong way. There are some people who feel that an inherent component of leadership means you know everything, you have all the answers, and mistakes are not made. But….nothing can be further from the truth. Leaders are human too, and effective leaders don’t have all the answers, they don’t know everything, and they do make mistakes. As part of having a growth mindset, we have gotten better about saying, “I don’t know, but I will find out”. But when it comes to mistakes…I have seen some whoppers in the leadership realm. All well and good, except that I have seen leadership expect their followers to just overlook them.
Spoiler alert: Leadership implies that people are following you. A leader who is unwilling to own mistakes loses trust and credibility, and thus followers. Are you really leading anything if no-one is behind you? Effective leaders cultivate a culture of respect, trust, and integrity in part by authentically owning mistakes and taking responsibility. Just like Instagram, losing credibility and not being real causes people to lose followers.
I recently had a conversation with a principal who made a mistake, approached a situation far to heavy handed given the relational capacity they had with a new staff, and had to find a way forward. As part of our discussion we talked about what went wrong, but this person had difficulty in recognizing the mistake that was made. This person, who wants to be perceived as the leader, respected and followed, initially balked at the idea of backtracking, owning the mistake and working to correct the situation. And taking responsibility is hard.
Contrary to popular belief though, is this idea that by owning our mistakes, by apologizing and making things right with our followers we are actually opening up authentic communication, modeling growth mindset, and likely increasing relational capacity and trust. As leaders, we have to be willing to say we were wrong, and work towards making it right, and accepting responsibility for our mistakes as well as our learning from the experience.
Ownership and Taking Responsibility Increases Relational Capacity
When I think back to my educator mistakes, and there were many. One of the first big mistakes I made as a leader involved a Halloween party with my first classroom of fourth graders (teachers are leaders too). The mistake I made was discipline in haste; after being out of the classroom on Halloween morning, I had a bad report from the sub and in haste I punished the whole class for the mistakes of a few kids by taking away their Halloween party. I lost relational rapport with my best behaved students, I lost their respect and my own credibility went down the drain. As a young teacher, instead of acknowledging that my initial response to the misbehavior was not fair and was an over reaction, I persisted because I didn’t want my students to think I was wrong…even though was, and I knew I was.
If I had the opportunity for a do-over, I would have done a reset with the class; a pause and reflect moment. That would have been a time to acknowledge my over the top reaction and have a discussion about what was a fair way to proceed. I could have held a discussion and allowed those responsible for poor choices to own their behavior, and then determined how best to equitably move forward. As it stands, I have to live with the fact that the most memorable thing that happened for some of those kiddos was losing their halloween party.
In leadership, either from the classroom or the Principal’s office, we need to model the behaviors we want to see, and that means growth mindset, willingness to accept responsibility for our mistakes and wrong doings, and be worthy of being followed.
Looking back, I wished I would have reset. I wished I would have allowed myself the grace to call a student meeting, allow my few kids who were misbehaved the opportunity to own their choices, discuss how to move forward fairly, and made the experience meaningful and a learning opportunity because not only would my mischief makers have been accountable, but my well behaved kids would have also been supported in their good choices which would have increased my credibility and trustworthiness.
I never forgot that mistake, and to this day, would love to have a re-do with those kiddos, some of whom are now classroom teachers themselves. What I did gain from that experience was the ability to say, “I’m Sorry, I over reacted”, ” Wow, I made an error in judgement and I owe you an apology”, and “This was an oversight on my part, and this was my mistake. I apologize, how can I help you?” My staff members have heard me say these things time and time again. Sometimes it is the small things, like not sending out an agenda in a timely manner, or the big things like master schedule problems. But when it is on me, my people know, it is ON me.
Humility should be a pre-requisite for leadership, and the ability to own one’s mistakes and offer apologies when necessary is a huge part of effective leadership. Leadership isn’t a title; it’s having the respect and credibility of colleagues who are willing to follow you.
